Senior Year of College, Paralysis or Catharsis?
7/2/2021, Sunday Morning rain is falling…. A bit perfect to describe this kind of Sunday because this Sunday will lead me back to all those years all the way from High School to College. Well, jumping back to memories under huge nostalgia has been a good thing remembering that we both struggle in the ups and downs in the thundering rollercoaster during the phase of our lives. Shall we begin?
2021, my final year in this beautiful college pursuing my Law Degree. Time caught me off guard since we’re moving in a rapid pace sometimes without even stop and stare for a while. As I’m climbing towards the month of February I found myself stargazing in Paralysis.
Paralysis in the midst of final paper, wasted time, friends who have a better life, or graduating. The ghost of comparison has appeared once again at the back of my brain. Quarantine made everything not even more clandestine, since many people already settled with their jobs with the future that we cannot define. However, is settled really the real thing? On the other hand, do you just want to know what they are up to?
Sometimes we all need Solitude in order to freshen our attitude facing the unprecedented wave of scientific and technological advancements that is too much to endure with our emotions. In this quest for Solitude I found what’s called Catharsis.
Catharsis because I know comparing will never end. You never be satisfied with who you are. We live on Instagram but is it really more than a hologram? The truth is “No Such Thing in Life that is better than Yours.” Catharsis, there’s beauty in the struggle ugliness in the success. I found in Catharsis, I have been showered with blessings from beautiful people whom continuing to be their own definition of Sunshine.
“My intuition is telling me there be better days. I sit courtside whenever I meditate, my fears alleviate, my tears evaporate, ideas don’t have a date.” With this, I am grateful in the midst of this intersection what so called “Live in the Moment.”
Live in the moment of an intersection from Bandung towards the middle of 5th Avenue in the bustling New York City. I realized people crossed the same intersection as a sign that we can learn each other and recognize our own vulnerabilities, different opinions, or approaches in our lives because sometimes “A fatal attraction is common and what we have in common is pain.”
“From Paralysis to Catharsis, from insecure to assure, and from unfaithful to grateful, and from dissolve to evolve.” We all have our own struggles but I realized we are carving our own path because “there is no right or wrong only song.” Life is a canvas and you can paint it whatever you want to be because there is no wrong in being different because with difference we can sometimes heal the fallacy of incoherence.
Inspired by:
Maroon 5- Sunday Morning (Songs about Jane); J. Cole- Love Yourz and Apparently (Forrest Hills Drive), Change (4 Your Eyez Only); and Kendrick Lamar- Poetic Justice (Good Kidd Madd City).
